Are you striving for the wrong goals? Learning this lesson could help.

Spenser Warren
2 min readMay 11, 2022
Piece of paper inside a typewriter with the word “Goals” typed across it.
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Growing up, I had such a simple plan for my life.

Get married (to a woman) around 25. Have kids a few years later. Get a six-figure job.

As a naïve 15-year-old, I thought achieving these goals was the key to happiness.

But after earning that six-figure job and throwing it away to pursue a completely different career and not being any closer to marriage than I was as that innocent 15-year-old boy, I’ve realized happiness isn’t defined by achieving what society says I should achieve.

Happiness is about pursuing your passions. Happiness is about surrounding yourself with people that love and support you no matter what. Happiness is about doing what you love and using the energy you feel for life to give back to those around you.

Pursuing goals that society deemed important steered me away from my own ambitions.

It made me confuse my sexuality and delayed my coming out process for many years.

If you feel pressured to get married by a certain age, have kids by a certain age, or reach a certain rung on the career ladder on a predetermined timeline, I’m here to tell you it’s ok to not want any of those things. Instead, think about what will make you happy. Maybe you don’t want to get married or have kids after all, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s a short enough life to worry about achieving goals you have no desire to achieve.

Instead, pivot your energy toward goals that light you up and will let you become the person you were meant to be.



Spenser Warren

Career Coach | Helping ambitious professionals do their life’s work and build empowerment through career reinvention | 10 year HR Pro | Career Changer | Writer